Bitten By The Dog

November 12, 2012

Being an ex Capie (that would be Captonian) who now lives in the big, bad city of Jozi (that would be Johannesburg) means that I know cool. I know what a vibe is supposed to be about. You can’t fake that shit, no you can’t. I grew up appreciating Long Street before it was très cool. I got the inner city vibe with all the beach trimmings. Ja, good times. Then I packed my bags and flew to Jozi because it seemed like the right thing to do. You forget there isn’t actually a beach here. Naff. Anyway, we push on.

Naturally my first post would be dedicated to a spot I feel warrants the rad stamp. Naturally I would speak of a place where the hot dog is king – naturally. Obviously it would also have barrels of beer in the vicinity and yes, there’s a dance floor consisting entirely of 5 cent coins – word. Squeak some takkie with the hipsters – it makes me happy, it does. And I get to smash things in my face – always good.

So back to Great Dane. This plekkie has already acquired somewhat of a cult status following, groupies flock like its the last Bon Jovi concert Africa will ever see… wait… I had to go there.

I feel that this doesn’t require a waft, I’m partial to good bullet formatting, so here we go:

Vibe

  • Hipster chic – you know you want to be entering the Dane with your skinnies on.
  • Mismatched, quirky vintage lanterns hang about the sweet-ass little open courtyard. Round wooden ‘barrel style’ tables with brick bench seating.
  • DJ’s smack the beats in the booth – especially on a Saturday. Like the Facebook page to get updates about what’s happening in the week *insert Facebook info here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/greatdanebar *
  • Be sure to bring your Wayfarers – just because.
  • Braamfonetin magic all around and right across the road from the Neighbourgoods Market – schweet boet.

Kos

If you don’t dig dogs… well you’re screwed.

  • I like it spicy, as always. I asked the waiter for ‘The Hunter’. Boom, it was so and it made me go “mmmm gurl”. Chilli paste, mature cheese sauce, caramalised onions and sliced jalapenos. Not one for the faint of heart – cold beer must be on the ready for those who are pathetic at the sight of a chilli. *learn to man up – now*.
  • Rottweilers in your face! A great dog smeared with German mustard, Emmantale cheese and topped with a mixed veggie pickle, jam packed into a bun. Ask for a stack of serviettes with this one – messy. But we also don’t want to be tree killers so actually make do with just one and finger lick the rest.
  • Very important clause: *all dogs are served with hand-cut fries. So damn good – make sure you order extra – girlfriends will be stealing off their okes plates for sure. We don’t want any domestic issues on a Saturday, so please, for the sake of others – just order extra, hipsters don’t like the aggro*
Thirst Quenchers
  • Beer, beer, beer…beer. Did somebody say beer? Darling Brew down the hatchet dear boy.
  • Oh and there’s also vino for non-brewski lovers (say what?) as well as the usual other suspects.
When to jol?
Wednesday: 7pm-4am
Thursday to Saturday: 12pm-4am

Closed: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.

That’s all the important stuff. Basically if you’re keen for a Braamies jol grab your charnaa’s (that’s friends in boytjie speak. We will have a lesson on that shortly), smash a dog and beer in your face and follow it up with a takkie squeak. Uh huh. Rad.
5 De Beer Street, Braamfontein, Johannesburg
011 403 1136

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